oh, i had this very strange kinda conversation with kak ayun today. she was telling me about jaff. as in, stuff about us. bla bla. so in came this topic.

*laughs*

ayun : so kecik, where's honeymoon gonna be fer you?

me : im so going ta maldives!! it's set, only ta find the person ta go with remain..errr.

ayun : haha, cute laa you. that's jaff honeymoon dream place too.

me : err, okay. but he's out of ma list.

ayun : ya right!!! the answer is so, he's top on ma list! haha. but why?

me : eh no. he's out. cause he's afraid of the deep waters, and i love it. 

ayun : oh, but you cant count it that way okay. i tell jafaar!

me : i can, it's ma pick! haha. tell ah, tak takot ah.

ayun : haha. nonsense know you.

me : i know, and you are entertaining me gundu. eh, i tell you something nk?

ayun : i know. haha. wad?

me : i wanna get pregnant. like get married and have A CHILD.

ayun : ha, not even 18 wanna get married. with who eh?

me : eh, stupid. with anyone! haha. of cause with that special someone, i wonder who.

ayun : haha. okay. once mira is in labour, i'll get ma camera ready and hear all the yacking.

me : weee, when im labour. i'll kick you outta the room. only ma husband can be with me.

ayun : no!! jaff can take it, but i bet he will be laughing like mad if you're in labour.

me : excuse me, since when is he part of our conversation again?

ayun : since the part, only ma husband can be with me. haha.

me : over sia! no. ayun idris, end of conversation!!

ayun : don't deny, you suck at lying kecik!

me : ah, shuddup ah.

ayun : *laughs*

annoying. but i seriously wish ta have a child. like settle down in life and stuff. having ta imagine who ma child will look like.. haha. exciting rights? *grins* =D

and ta you ma dear cikopek,

i know it hurts ta finally realise who you really wanna be with but i don't wanna talk, about the things we've gone through, now its history. i've played all ma cards and that's wad you've done too. nothing more ta say, no more ace ta play. i was in your arms, thinking i belonged there. i figured it made sense, building me a fence, building me a home, thinking i'd be strong there. but i was a fool playing by the rules. the gods may throw a dice. their minds as cold as ice and someone way down here, loses someone dear. the winner takes it all. the loser has ta fall, its simple and its plain. why should I complain? the judges will decide, the likes of me abide, spectators of the show always staying low. the game is on again, a lover or a friend. if it makes you feel sad. i understand, you've come ta shake my hand, i apologize. if it makes you feel bad. seeing me so tense. no self confidence, but you see. you'll find someone better out there, im sorry.