i hate the feeling of knowing the truth. truth about things you never imagine someone would do. i really sometimes wish everything would just stop, stop being a fucker. i've got stupid dumb acting people around me. pretending ta be all nice and helpful. always ever ready ta be faking a smile, oh how cute!!! i know i've got issues, but you're pretty messed up too. if this is the game you wanna play, than dude, i'll play it the way you want it ta be. it's nice ta know you were there ta lead me a helping hand, thanks fer acting like you cared! you know i would never wish bad things, but i dont wish you well. could you tell, by the flames that burned your words? it was you who chose ta end it like you did. so flykite bro, we'll see who gets the last laugh. 

i feel crappy inside. those things that i found out can really cut like a knife. im sorry mum & dad fer bottling things up ta maself all this while. i never wanna tell you guys wads going on in ma working life. reasons were because i never wanna make you both worry. you've always been telling me ta work hard and be somebody someday.. i wanna prove ta you that yes fer once, i can do something good in life cause i've always been giving you nothing but trouble all ma life. i try hard ta make it, i just wanna make you both proud. but at the end of day, im crushed. i try not ta think about the pain i feel inside cause i never like letting you see me cry, i know it pains your heart.. i tried holding everything back. but it never crossed ma mind that i could never hide anything from you both. all you did was ta look at me and took me inta ya arms, right where i belong. i hate not being able ta stand up fer maself. not being able to fight fer ma rights and believes. being stabbed in the back and pretending ta be alright when im not. i dun wanna be the softhearted girl, letting ma emotions take over me.. i just wish this feeling would go away. but thank you fer giving me the faith when it's gone, being ma hope and picking me up every single time i fall. please believe me when i say i love you both more than anything else in the world..